Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Benefits vs. Risks

I quit taking my anti-anxiety/depression medication last week. Last week was a horrible week, and I was SO ready for it to end. Thank goodness this week seems to be going much better.

But the meds...

I started taking medication because of Aidan. Not too long ago, all he did was cry. No matter what we did. And he didn't just confine it to nighttime colicky type stuff. It was all. day. long. and not just crying - he was yelling. It was horrible. If he wasn't sleeping, or eating, he was yelling. It was enough to drive anyone to drink. Kidding! I'm kidding. Good thing we're in a dry county, though. Ha! Kidding again!

When I first started taking the meds - actually even before I started taking them - I was concerned about the effects on Aidan, who is breastfed. I mentioned to my Dr. twice that I was breastfeeding. Once before and once after the medication was prescribed. She assured me it was safe to take while breastfeeding.

So I get home and Google the crap out of this medicine. And every single thing I read about it says either that they don't know the effects of it on a breastfed infant, or just flat-out say NOT to take it while breastfeeding. So I call the Dr. back and mention this. She said it is a class B drug, where most other anti-anxiety/depression drugs are class C. Class B isn't perfect, but it's better than class C.

So I had lots of long discussions with my husband about what we should do. Obviously it was important that I be sane. But I also didn't particularly want to wean. So we finally decided to just trust the advice of my Dr. and assume it was safe to breastfeed while taking this medication.

I took it for a little over 4 weeks. And this past week I realized...I wasn't seeing any benefits from it. I was still as tightly wound and short-fused as I was when I started. And I assume 4 weeks is long enough to at least start to feel a difference. Not only that, but shortly after I took each dose, I would feel horribly dizzy and nauseous for about an hour or so.

So. The "benefits vs. risks" argument doesn't fly if there are no discernable benefits. I mean, why would I want to take something that is possibly risky, if there aren't any benefits to justify it? I wouldn't. So I'm not. And there it is.

Aidan seems to be over the worst of his extreme displeasure, and while he occasionally will get highly upset for no reason we can fathom, it doesn't last all day. And that I can handle.

I think.

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